phobia

I dont like this. i keep checking on the phone waiting for her call
every exactly 15 seconds, i count. she promised to call me, but checking
every 15 seconds, i think even that is too much. my anxiesity building
up every 15 seconds which lead me to the temper zone. every 15 seconds
my mind grows nervous, steadily, this is not me. well it is me, when i
got owned. I'm getting comfortly uncomfortable with the whole situation.
where i want her solely for me. not even want to share with the rest of
the world. if i cant have that, I'm angry with myself. somewhere inside
my head the devil tempt me," maybe she's calling some guy, isnt that the
guy she crushed on couple years ago?". jealousy turning saint into the
sea. every 15 seconds i hear an increasing pace of my heartbeat. the
devil slowly tingling my heart, every 15 seconds. oh no, this is not me
if this is me i dont like this me. i think I'll start to have bizzare
dreams, of losing her. this whole thing making me uncomfortly comfortable.